Friday, January 29, 2010

best divorce letters

As I was checking my emails while simultaneously reading on quick weight loss supplements and ideas, I chanced upon this letter that is trully hilarious. Read on!!!

Dear Wifey,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good husband to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. But, these last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal, & even wore a brand new pair of silk brief. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soap operas. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone!!

Your Ex-Husband

P.S.: Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter!

It's true that you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good husband is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soap operas on television so much because they drown-out your constant whining & griping (too bad that doesn't work). I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a monkey!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk brief: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life as you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures that you won't get a dime from me.
So take care!

Your Ex-Wifey, Rich As Hell and Free!!

P.S.: I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born as Carlo (man)..... ....I hope that's not a problem!!!

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